GIVING BACK THE BROKEN HEART

Nina Bagley

Quotable Faith

Start being honest with yourself about everything: Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself  

Matthew 11:28-29 Amplified Version

28: Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest (I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls)

29 Take My yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am gentle (meek) humble (lowly) in heart and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. 

At some point recently, I was impressed with this question: “Why are you still holding on to your broken heart?” What?  “I am sure I gave that old thing away at my baptism, didn’t I.?” Well look, I answered. “I gave a talk about my “Mighty change of Heart”. Remember?”

So my husband and I bought a new car, a first in about 15 years. I wrote about it in my Sister Blog here .
 It was a hard process and it took a long time, and not because of any external problems or whatever. For various reasons, I was held hostage by my broken heart.  I struggled to believe that I was worthy of anything, even a new car, even though I really needed it. I could believe that I deserved “small things”, so I could receive small things, but not the big stuff.  At some point, I felt that if I allowed myself to stay in that “holding pattern”, I wanted to believe that I could employ some “magical” thinking and I would wake up and my old car would continue to suffice. There was a whole Pandora’s Box just waiting to pop if I continued down that path. The broken heart, is like a cavity (which I have one) and no matter how much you polish it up, or put new silver or gold fillings in it, it will still continue to rot. 

Proverbs 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken

So I had to finalize the selling of my old car, including paying a visit to our local MVA, which is a visit I would trade for a visit to the dentist any day... So I got there early and they had changed their open time by thirty minutes. So I wrote down a few “good things” I felt that the Lord had blessed me with recently:

1.Today was a good weather day, the humidity was low and there was the faintest cool breeze blowing.
2.Despite reports of nationwide drought; possible food shortages, high gas prices, ET AL, we have had rain and some soakers too.
3 .There have been reports of food prices going up and one rogue grocery store presented a small beef roast for 37.00 on sale. I am sure it was a joke, maybe a misprint.

Psalms 37:25 I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

1. So my new car takes premium grade fuel which is about 4.88 a gallon.  I may have to use my grocery store gas discounts more.
2. The Lord requires or asks us to sacrifice the broke down, stony, rock encrusted heart and our contrite spirit, and in return he will place a new heart of “flesh” in our flesh. He will give us rest to our souls (the heart and the mind are the soul of the man).

Ezekiel 36:25 A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and I will give you a heart of flesh.

I turned in my old tags from my old car; I have had it for 15 years, and for the last 5 I was literally nursing it to work every day. So many issues, that even if one issue was repaired, it could not sustain itself. Sort of like holding on to my old heart, while my new heart seemed to piggy back the old heart, and optimistically tried to function. Something had to give. When the technician at Car Max removed the tags from the car, he literally had to pry them off because the bolts were rusted and frozen. He then had to bend them up and pull them off with great force.  They were pretty mangled; it occurred to me that this may be a good analogy for making the “sacrifice” of a broken heart. I feel that the Savior probably has to pry those old hearts right out of us, maybe we do too.

So the door finally opened at the MVA and we all proceeded in an orderly fashion to the various desks and counters.  There were two other guys turning in their tags, and we raced each other to punch out call numbers. I was H-103, and I literally sprinted to the counter, laughing to myself. It’s over, it’s done!!!

I was considering purchasing some “vanity” tags with the caption “A New Heart”.